archive

Archives

Geez, I've written a lot of crap over the years. This page contains the archive for 2009 (2010-present can be found on the home page). If you'd like to look back earlier than 2009, check out the cute little buttons I've provided.

So Nancy Pelosi was asked, “When we capture Bin Laden, should he be told he has the right to remain silent and given a lawyer?” Pelosi replied: “Well, let’s see, how many years has it been? Nine, eight years? Let’s worry about capturing Bin Laden and not worry about your question.”

Let's not worry about your question? Okay, boys and girls, close your eyes and go into your space. Take a deep breath. Now imagine the media orgy if that doltish, dismissive answer had been given by Sarah Palin.

Today it was announced that California has requested $4.7 billion in federal funds to build a high-speed rail system. The State claims this will create 130,000 jobs. Listen carefully: There's a huge difference between "job creation" and "wealth creation." Since high-speed rail (like every passenger train in the world) is totally inefficient, it will forever be a drain on the taxpayers, thus this so-called job creation will end up destroying wealth. At best, fares will make up about 25% of the operating costs which means the rest will be paid, in perpetuity, by the already over-burdened taxpayers.

To summarize: A state that is bankrupt has requested a massive amount of money from a country that is bankrupt so it can build a useless project that will waste more massive amounts of money. Class dismissed.

So according to AP, imprisoned director Roman Polanski is in a “fighting mood” and will battle U.S. attempts to have him extradited from Switzerland. Fighting mood, huh? Just give the pervert some champagne and Quaaludes and take him by force.

And speaking of show business idiots, tonight Bill Maher was sharing his infinite wisdom with us ignorant peons about government health care. He said, "Why are we the only country in the world that profits from people being sick? That's what this is really about - people are sick and that's one-sixth of our economy."

The only conclusion I can draw from this is that doctors and medical researchers should be forced to work for nothing but we should continue to give millions of dollars to third-rate comedians for it is they who are the noble and valuable.

The U.S. Department of Justice is now looking at the exclusive agreements many phone manufacturers have with cellular companies - the most notable being Apple and AT&T. Apparently the government believes these agreements could be a violation of antitrust laws, and don't get me started on those. I don't want to give these meddling bureaucrats any ideas but have you ever been in a movie theater that sold both Coke and Pepsi? I didn't think so. That's because they have contracts that offer huge discounts if the theater only sells one product and excludes the other. And if you believe that exclusive contracts are indeed wrong, then I'll assume I can sleep with your wife.

So why are the right-wing freaks making such a big deal about Barbara Boxer asking a General to call her "Senator"? The statements castigating her range from calling her remarks condescending and disrespectful to one pundit saying she "flew off the handle." None of that is true. Her request was polite and reasonable and certainly within her rights. Don't we have more pressing issues?

Is there any limit to the arrogant power grab in Washington, D.C.? The federal government just announced pollution and fuel standards for new cars. I guess that means they'll have to follow their own orders since they've also taken control of General Motors and Chrysler. And they're also running brokerage houses, banks and insurance companies not to mention a national railroad, a huge retirement plan and a health system for the elderly. The latter being so inefficient and fraud-ridden, they now want to expand the program to all Americans, whether we want it or not. The government has over $100 trillion in unfunded liabilities and is several trillion in debt to other countries with no prospect for paying for any of these things.

It's time to admit that the federal government is nothing more than a crazy old cat lady, taking in more and more stray cats she can no longer care for. The cats are mangy, sick and underfed and are now overrunning the house. There's cat poop everywhere and the stench is unbelievable. And the old lady is now lying on the couch, starving to death while muttering to herself about how wonderful she is for "saving" all these cats. Not long from now, she will pass out in a stupor and her beloved cats will start feasting on what's left of her emaciated body until there is nothing left but her bones.

Don't bother phoning the authorities - there will be no one left to answer the call.

So now the Parsdent wants to build high-speed rail systems around the country. As a matter of fact, he says we can't wait. Seems the best way to get out from under $115 trillion in debt is to spend even more trillions on something nobody needs nor wants. Let me make some predictions: Whatever the government says the cost will be, you can reliably double it. They'll tell you how efficient passenger trains are all the while raising income taxes, property taxes, gasoline taxes and sales taxes to pay for and maintain their pet project. And, of course, when nobody rides the stupid thing, their excuse will be that they just didn't do it big enough.

Voters in the Socialist Democracy of California have voted a gazillion dollars to bolster up their aging rapid transit system (BART). Passenger trains cost a fortune to build, always run at a loss and will continue to suck the money out of taxpayers' wallets forever. The passenger train is dead because the airplane and the automobile have been invented. Passenger trains are so inefficient by comparison, their operation must be constantly subsidized (usually by the more efficient automobile). This explains why gasoline is $6 a gallon in Europe. Remember that when someone tells you how wonderful the European rail system is.

Now these socialist idiots are proposing a "high-speed" rail system between S.F. and L.A. So why are socialists so enamored of trains? I think they don't like the trains nearly as much as they like the tracks. The tracks allow them to control where people go. This helps to explain why they hate cars and REALLY hate off-road SUVs.

You gotta hear Doyle and Debbie before you die. And the good news is that if you don't live in Nashville, you can hear them on their website or see them on YouTube. Just be forewarned: Doyle and Debbie reside in a preternatural vortex of musical comedy. It's an intersection where Lennon and McCartney meet Homer and Jethro - Where Cole Porter meets Ray Stevens - And where sanity is savagely beaten and left for dead with its entrails ceremoniously stuffed in its mouth.

So U.N. Secretary-General Ban Ki-moon called the United States a "deadbeat donor" because apparently we're a billion dollars behind in the "dues" we pay this bloodsucking, incompetent organization. Really? Is that what's bothering you, Ban Ki? Just be glad I'm not president cuz the first thing I'd do is give those bureaucrats 48 hours to leave the country and then I'd sell the U.N. building to private developers to be turned into condos.

So today the president signed The Lilly Ledbetter Fair Pay Act, otherwise known as equal pay for equal work. This is based on the laughable, post-modernist dog-poop belief that for every dollar a man makes, a women makes only 78 cents for doing the exact same work. There are many reasons women may be paid less:

Child care - women are much less likely than men to work overtime, citing the need to get home to be with the kids.

Confidence - I'll bet that women are more willing to accept a lower offer when negotiating salary. This is probably due just as much to men's propensity toward inflating their own worth as a woman's propensity to underestimate her own worth.*

Of course, the basis for this law is the despicable left-wing desire to deny individual rights by putting people into groups. Thus, if your title is Staff Analyst or IT Manager, it matters not how well you do your job - the sole criterion for assessing your salary is your title. Seniority, experience, and job performance count for nothing.

I realize you can argue with what I've written so far but one fact is inescapable: If women really did the exact same work for 22% less, men would be unemployable. What business would hire a man when they could get a woman to do the exact same job more cheaply?

The result of this disastrous legislation is that businesses will be saddled with onerous requirements to document and justify every salary administration decision. And, of course, the number of frivolous lawsuits will dramatically increase. Just what we need in a collapsing economy.

Notes from the kakistocracy: 60 Minutes does a piece on Barney Frank and calls him the smartest man in congress and somehow never mentions his role in stonewalling the Bush administration's attempts to rein in Fannie Mae. The media keeps comparing Barack Obama to FDR (for some reason they think that's good) without ever once noticing that the country is in massive debt as it struggles to pay for all the stupid programs put in place by FDR. Caroline Kennedy doesn't think she should have to be vetted by the people or have to put up with the drudgery of actually getting elected (or qualified for that matter). Here's a woman who's trying to use her family name and influence to get unearned power while Rod Blagojevich is being vilified for being on the other side of the same coin. Bernard Madoff was arrested for running a Ponzi scheme but yet the people running the Social Security Administration are walking around free. It's almost as asinine as the government outlawing gambling while running a lottery. Or the fact that the last three presidents have all admitted to recreational drug use and yet the War on Drugs continues. And worse, if you played by the traditional rules, worked hard and saved your money, what you've earned is now being taken from you and turned over to the gamblers, losers and thieves. From each according to his abilities...

Obviously, logic and proportion have fallen sloppy dead. We have so many laws that no one knows what they say. It used to be said that ignorance of the law is no excuse but we now live in a country where the people passing the laws haven't even read them much less understand them. People are losing their moral compass and, when caught doing something clearly immoral, will tell you they "didn't do anything illegal." Thus, the law is abrogating morality and, sadly, the laws are now being written by the most corrupt, ignorant people we have. Say goodnight, Gracie.